I just saw Con-Air. I am floored. I can’t believe this movie is so good. I can’t believe this movie is so bad. I can’t help but love a movie that features a roundhouse kick by a hillbillied Nicholas Cage. I can’t help but hate a movie that says

Nobody Move or the i’ll shoot the bunny

It’s so good. They land the plane in Las Vegas. On the Strip. Awesome. Completely awesome. Nicolas Cage grabs his daughter’s bunny out of the storm drain. Awful completely awful. Dave Chappelle is in it. Awesome. He falls out of a plane. Awful. Steve Buscemi plays cannibal who sings “He’s got the whole world in his hands” as the plane is crashing. John Malkovich plays Cyris the Virus, the leadConvict with an insanely enormous vocabulary. Awesome AND Awful. A plane was “tug-boating” a car. Amazing. John Cusack hotwires a car. Awesome. Cage uses a tractor to escape crossfire and melee. Awful. Completely awkward family ending. Awful.

Does this make Jerry Bruckheimer a genius or an idiot? Yes.

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